I have three Akebia Quinata vines. One is called the Chocolate Vine because of the dark purple-brown blossoms and its five leaf vine structure. The others are Albiflorus, with white flowers.

All three bloom in April, then re-leaf in May and bloom again in June. None get any direct sunlight.

I am the only person I know who has Akebia that fruit. There are five sets of fruits on one vine, three sets on another and a small set on the third that fell off before it developed.
The large fruit shown is 6″ long and almost 2″ wide. They are wonderfully strange looking, more Jurassic than Safeway, and outside looks and feels like very fine suede. In the photos, the purple one is from the Chocolate Vine and the very light green one is from an Albiflora vine.

The literature I found says they are edible, and one website says they have a “delicate fruit taste similar to passion fruit”. Nuhuh! It’s a plot to get you to take a bite. A thin protector for the seeds, the flesh is transparent, thin and VERY slimy. If you are gullible enough to take a bite, the slime feels glued to your teeth as you sprint gagging toward the nearest toothbrush.

The flavor? It’s delicate but closer to the smell of cheap perfume than any passion fruit I have eaten.

Small grape sized fruit clusters show first in early July and grow slowly until early September when they begin to split. By the first part of October the seed packet falls and the fruit gradually rots and falls off the vine, almost completely decomposed. Gnarly!